Bob's Backstory
by emjo1
Summary: A collection of short vignettes centered around the Belcher family starting with their pregnancy with Tina, all the way until the time period of the show. There is a lot of Linda x Bob, because there isn't enough fanfiction focusing on them! There are slight sexual references, but nothing the actual show wouldn't air. Its mostly light, but it does get a little sad at times. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"Alright Bobby, now that we've finished setting up the restaurant, and we've had our opening day, it's time we start redecorating the house" Linda said, entering the kitchen where Bob was sitting at the table, drinking a glass of wine and reading his paper.

It had been a particularly busy day. Despite only opening the restaurant a month earlier, he was getting some good business from the Spring Breakers who had been running rampant all over the beach town. So he was not happy to hear of his wife's plans.

"Lin you know we can't afford that. Soon all these college kids will go back to school and we'll be struggling to make ends meet, just like normal."

"Awwwwn come on Bobby! It'll be fun! And I can make it cheap. We'll just go one room at a time. We can start with the spare room."

"Oh god..." Bob said putting down his paper.

"I'm thinking we put in a smaller bed. Sell the old one. Then we'll actually make money!" Bob chuckled and she beamed. "And then, we paint it bright pink!"

"B-bright pink?" Bob stuttered, taken aback by this odd choice. He knew his wife had an eccentric flair, but this seemed a little much.

"Lin I don't think guests will appreciate..."

"Shh!" She put her finger to his lips. "I'm not done. So once we've painted the walls, we go back to the paint store with our extra paint and complain that it wasn't dark enough. So they'll mix us a darker pink that we can use to repaint the desk and the dresser! Free of charge! So far, this hasn't cost us anything, we're just using our extra bed sale money!"

"Yeah but I don't think these are the best choices for friends and family when they come over. This sounds more like it was meant for a ki... Oh god" Bob's eyes widened when he realized what was going on.

Linda grinned wide before cheering "we're having a babyyyy! Alriiiiight!"

Bob was dumbstruck, but excited. Linda started chattering about when she found out, and how she had such a hard time keeping it a secret from Gayle, and this that and the other thing. Bob just sat in silence, and he finished the entire bottle of wine by himself. He knew Linda couldn't have any, so who else would finish it?

When he was good and drunk, he finally had something to say.

"Lin... I... Am so fucking lucky. We're gonna be in debt, but we... Are gonna be in debt with a baby. I love you" and he leaned over and gave her a slobbery kiss.

She gently pushed him off, chuckling.

"I'm glad you got drunk today because tomorrow you're quitting with me. We're going dry together, or else I may just go crazy! Hooray alriiiiight no booze while pregnant!"

"What?"


	2. Chapter 2

"God baby showers are the best things invented! We invite people over and they give us free stuff just because we had sex and got lucky!" Linda chuckled to herself, as she organized all the things they had gotten from their baby shower yesterday. She was sitting in a chair in front of the desk in the soon to be baby's room, as Bob painted the walls. She had to write who gave them what, and then put the thing into one of three boxes: keep it, sell it, think about it.

She was just about to sneak the ugly stuffed horse Aunt Gayle knitted into the "keep it" box when Bob got down from the ladder, catching her with the doll in her hand.

"Keep THAT in there." He pointed to the "sell it" box. "It freaks me out"

Linda sighed and put it in the box.

Bob sat on the floor next to one of the boxes, leaning on Linda's legs and wiping his hands onto his apron.

"What should we name her Bobby? We should name her after a family member..." Linda said, thinking.

"Lin I don't want to be like Pesto. He told me he's naming his kid after himself, and that's just conceited and... And stupid."

"Fine we'll name her after someone dead. Then it'll be in honour of them so nobody can judge us"

"Well uh... We could name her after my great aunt" Bob suggested.

"Oh that's sweet!" Linda smiled. "What was her name?"

"Constantina"

Linda made a face. "Ugh. That's an awful name."

Bob turned and looked up at her. "Well I dunno Linda! Can you think of something better?"

She smiled as she thought of an idea.

"Oooo! How about we shorten it? Maybe... Constance?"

"Oh God... You think that's better than Constantina?" Bob went back to leaning on her legs.

"Alright Mr. Cranky-Pants, how about just Tina?"

"Better than Constance. Let's do it."

"I like it! It's cute and unique, just like her mommy!" Linda patted her very pregnant belly, smiling.

Soon after, Bob stood back up and went back to the ladder. And of course, as soon as his back was turned, Linda snuck the horse into the "keep it" box


	3. Chapter 3

"Bobby I'm nervous about the baby. She's always so squinty! She looks like a little George Castanza"

Linda had just finished feeding little baby Tina and they were all sitting on their bed, cuddling her. Bob looked at Linda.

"Lin she does not look like George Castanza." He looked back at squinting Tina. "Ok maybe a little bit." He chuckled. "It's the thin hair that really does it"

"I think she needs glasses Bobby"

"That's ridiculous. Babies don't wear glasses"

"Yeah well this baby should! She looks just like I did before I got my glasses"

"Fine. We'll take her to the optometrist."

~the next day~

Linda and the baby left the optometrist office and met Bob in the waiting room.

"So?" Bob looked at Linda.

"She needs glasses. Badly. They say she may not like them at first but once she realizes she'll be able to see with them on, she'll like them."

"There goes this month's rent money..." Bob grumbled. Tina reached out and put her little hand on his arm. He smiled. "But it's all for you kid"

"Alright Mr. and Ms. Belcher, we only have a few styles for babies this small. Come and choose a pair" the woman at the desk said, as she pulled out three glasses cases.

Linda opened the first case, revealing a bright pink pair with bright green Kuchi Kopis painted along the side.

"These are kind of cute." She lied.

"Lin they're an eyesore. Leave the kid some dignity."

Bob opened the second case. Inside was a pair of glasses very similar to Linda's. Linda snatched them up immediately.

"Oooooo I like these ones!" She smiled and put them on Tina.

Tina smiled at the attention, with a smile very similar to Linda's.

"Oh that's too weird..." Bob said, staring at Linda and her mini-me. "I don't like it."

"I agree. It's a little frightening." The saleslady added.

"Fine..." Linda grumbled and put them back.

Bob opened the last case.

"I guess these are it." Bob said, putting the tiny set of black, square rimmed glasses on Tina. "They actually suit her."

Linda smiled. "Look at mommy, baby." Tina turned to look at her mother. "Ohhhhh she looks adorable! They're perfect."

"We'll take them." Bob said to the woman.

"With the prescription lenses and the appointment, that'll be $267" the saleslady smiled at the Belchers.

Bob's jaw dropped. "For a baby?!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Ok Bobby, she's finally asleep" Linda whispered to Bob as she left Tina's bedroom. She was no longer breastfeeding and it was harder for Tina to fall asleep. But they had done it.

Linda closed the door and grinned at Bob.

"Alright Bobby, I think it's time for some fun..." She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged at it.

"Really? Lin you wanted to have sex earlier when she was napping. It was the middle of the work day!"

"So sue me! I've been horny! I thought you'd like it..."

"I mean... I'm not against it" Bob smiled at his wife.

She was beautiful, and recently she seemed to be even more attractive. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was different.

"Come on Bobby" She started to walk towards their bedroom, swaying her hips as she stepped.

Bob took a moment to watch his gorgeous wife saunter away before catching up to her.

"Bobby I wanna be on top"

"Alright sure" Bob took off his shirt and pants and lay down on the bed.

Linda took off her shirt and pants and straddled him. She then took off her bra, and Bob instinctively grabbed for her breasts.

"Lin I think they've gotten bigger." He grinned.

"Yeah that happens when you're pregnant"

Bob was about to say something when he realized what she just said. He just lay there, holding her boobs and staring dumbly at her face.

She huffed. "Well say something!"

"Lin I... Why did you wait to tell me now?" He chuckled, confused and surprised.

"Well I wasn't planning on telling you till after we had sex but it just came out! You know I'm awful at keeping secrets"

"Why did we have to have sex first?"

"Bobby I've been very horny recently. I think it's the hormones. And we haven't been able to get the amount of sex I need because of Tina sooooo... I just needed to get my fix!"

"So that's why you practically jumped on me after the lunch rush"

"Yeah... You just looked so handsome behind the grill, I just couldn't resist! Sexy beast..."

Bob laughed.

"Anyways I'll tell you all about how I found out AFTER we have sex."

"Sounds great Lin" Bob beamed. He was happy to have another kid, and he would do absolutely anything for Linda.


	5. Chapter 5

Linda was starting to have a baby bump, so she and Bob decided to tell Tina their news. They all sat down on the couch, Tina sitting on Bob's lap.

"Look Tina, you're going to have a brother! Right now he's in mommy's tummy, but he'll be out soon" Linda smiled, patting her belly.

Tina looked at her mother's tummy nervously. "Uhhhhhhhh..."

Bob patted his daughter's head "Don't worry Tina, it will be fun having another kid around"

She looked up at him, obviously very nervous. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

She was making her "everything-is-(not)ok-face".

"We've decided to name him Eugene. After mummy's uncle." Bob said to her, moving a piece of her black hair behind her ear, re-clipping a yellow butterfly hair-clip in her hair to keep it out of her face.

"Yeah it's not fair for your name to be ugly and his name to be nice. So you both get ugly names!" Linda laughed a little.

"Lin!" Bob gently kicked her foot.

"Uhhhhhhhhh..." Tina looked up at her mom. "Uhhhhhhh..." Then she looked at her dad. "Uhhhh..." She looked at her mom's stomach. Her face relaxed. She wasn't nervous anymore. "Uh... Gene..." She put her tiny hand on her mom's stomach. "Gene. My brother." She hugged her mom's tummy.

"Awwwwn... My little baby loves my littler baby..." Linda smiled at Tina.

Bob smiled. "Of course she does. She's a good kid Lin. I'm sure Gene will be good too"

He leaned over and kissed her cheek.


	6. Chapter 6

"I've been cheated by you since I don't know when!" A heavily pregnant Linda sang while mopping the floor after the restaurant's closing. "BOBBY TURN IT UP!"

She continued to sing and bop along to the music as Bob turned up the radio.

"Lin why can't we listen to another station besides disco?" Bob said picking up Tina who had toddled over to him.

"Uhhhhh..." Tina groaned.

"Because I like it! I didn't get into it when I was younger because it wasn't considered cool, but now it's coming back and I'm happy about it!" Linda responded, still dancing.

Bob chuckled "In what world is it coming back?"

"Uhhhhhhhh..." Tina groaned again.

"In my world! And in Gene's world! He loves it! He's kicking like crazy in here! Feel" she moved over to Bob and put his hand on her tummy.

Sure enough, the baby was kicking up a storm.

"Oh wow. And he only does this to disco?"

"And 80s synth!" Linda laughed. "Our baby is a little music lover!"

"UHHHHH" Tina groaned much louder.

"What is it Tina Bina?" Linda held Tina's hand.

"Use your words." Bob said, bouncing her a little.

"Uhhhh... Uhhhhhhh..." She nervously looked at both of them, then she put her hands over her ears.

"Ohh. Lin I think it's too loud for her."

"Oh I'm sorry my sweetie pie!" Linda went to the radio and turned it down.

"Thank you." Tina whispered.

"Such a good girl" Linda beamed.


	7. Chapter 7

"Alriiiiight Bobby... Tina and Gene are at Gayle's..." Linda put her arms on her husband's waist.

"You don't think we should go save them...? I don't think we can keep them there all day"

"Bob noooooo! They just got there! Now is our only chance at freedom. I refilled the condiments and the salt and pepper shakers last night, and I woke up early to feed Gene so I ground the beef while doing that. We have 3 hours until the restaurant opens! That's just enough time for..." She grinned and turned on some R&B. "Seeeeexxxx!"

Bob yawned. "And then a quick nap"

"Ok fine then a quick nap... But first sex!"

"Of course Lin" he smiled.

~A few weeks later~

Bob was lying in bed while Linda was using the washroom.

"Oh crap!" Linda yelled from the bathroom. "crap crap crap!"

"Lin? Are you ok?" Bob stood up and moved towards the bathroom.

"Oh Bobby..." Linda started to cry and Bob automatically tried to open the door. It was locked.

"Lin can I come in?" Bob said anxiously. She unlocked the door silently and he opened the door.

She was sitting on the floor beside the toilet, sobbing.

The first thing he noticed was her red eyes, swelling with tears. The second thing he noticed was the pregnancy test she was holding. It was positive.

"I-I'm..." She sobbed. "I'm pregnant!"

Bob sat next to her and hugged her tightly, gently rocking her back and forth like he did with Tina when she had a bad dream. He had never seen Linda so upset.

"Lin... Why are you so sad...?" He kissed her cheek and then let go of the hug, putting his hands on her shoulders, keeping his eyes on hers.

"Bob... I know we can't afford another one! You're always saying 'we can't afford this, we can't afford that!' We sure as hell cant afford another kid Bobby!"

Bob sighed. He didn't mean to stress her out like this. He was always scared they wouldn't have enough money. He just didn't realize his anxiety had spread to her.

"I'm sorry Lin... Look I know it'll be hard. But these two kids have made my life incredible, along with you of course. Adding another kid can only make it better. It'll be tough but we've always managed."

"a-are you sure Bobby...?"

"Positive. Look, we'll just cancel Tina's ballet lessons. You can teach her dance. You're so good at it!" Bob smiled.

Linda gave a small smile. "Thank you..." She sniffled. "But that won't cover it all..."

"Well... You can give up your yoga classes! We'll just get a cheap DVD you can use instead."

Linda laughed a little. "That'll mean I won't have to see that awful Barbara every week"

"Yeah Barbara's the worst" Bob laughed. "She always farts during downwards facing dog right?"

Linda laughed too "yeah! She just stretches and it slides right out of her!"

"And we'll cancel our plans to send Tina to summer camp. Who needs it? I never went and I turned out great! And I can sell the restaurant ice machine. We can do it the old fashioned way! Ice cube trays never stop working. And when the kids get older, they'll be great help in the restaurant!"

Linda kept laughing. "And I can take up stripping! It'll be fun! I may be a mom of soon to be three but I'm ready to strut my stuff!"

Bob joined in on the laughter. Linda stood up and starting dancing.

"Hello Daddy, Hello Mom, I'm your Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!" She sang.

Bob kept laughing. "Lin is that your stripper song?"

"It sure is Bobby!" She grinned and kept singing. "Hello world I'm your royal girl! I'm your Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!"

Bob's laughter slowed a little and he stood up next to her. "See Lin? I'm sure we'll get by... We've made it this far"

Linda gave him a big hug.

She whispered "I love you..."


	8. Chapter 8

"Ooooo this one is a kicker!" Linda laughed.

She was sitting on the couch watching her stomach move as the baby kicked around.

"She's been doing this all week Bob!"

Bob walked in holding a dish he was in the middle of washing. Tina followed right on his heels, with Gene, who had just learned to walk, toddling behind them.

"Gene moved a lot too." Bob remarked.

"I still do!" Gene hurried up and stood between his parents. Then he started to wiggle all around.

Linda and Bob laughed.

"No Gene. I was talking about before you were born"

"Yeah but Gene didn't move around ALL the time. This one won't sit still!" Linda rubbed her ever-moving stomach.

Tina ran to the couch and sat next to her mom. She put her hands on her mom's stomach.

"Woah" Tina said, feeling the kicking.

Gene tried climbing onto the couch on the other side of his mom. Bob put the plate on the coffee table and picked up Gene. Then Bob sat next to his wife with Gene on his lap.

Gene stared at his mom's stomach. He was completely baffled by how it stretched and moved.

"Mommy's tummy... Moves?" He said, still starring.

"Yup Gene. Our little sister is in there and she's moving. You moved like that when mommy listened to Abba" Tina said to Gene.

"Among other bands..." Linda said.

"Wait... ME in there?!" Gene's eyes widened even more.

"Yes Gene. That's where babies come from. They grow inside of mommies." Bob said.

Gene looked up at his dad. "I want. I want to grow a baby"

Bob and Linda chuckled.

"Gene I don't think..." Bob started.

"Oh hush Bob. Let him have his dream" Linda half-whispered to Bob.

She then talked to Gene. "Sweetie you can be whatever you want"

Gene's smile got huge with excitement.

"I'm gonna be a GREAT mommy!"

He climbed off his dad's lap and then ran off to his room. He came back with play dough, and started making little clay babies. He spent the next few hours happily pretending to be their mommy.


	9. Chapter 9

It was 2 am one morning when 3 month old Louise started crying.

Linda rolled over, still half asleep, and poked her husband.

"Bobby... It's your turn I think..."

He sat up. "Lin no. I've gone the past three times." He shoved her to wake her up.

"Come on Bob..." She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "You know she goes to sleep better with you..."

"Lin she's probably hungry. And you're the one with the milk."

"Bob maybe I should just use the breast pump and fill bottles for you to feed her. She's always makes feeding so difficult for me"

"Linda I know she has a rough time with you. I don't know why, because you're an amazing mother, but some kids are just picky. The only way for you to get her on your side is to go help her when she needs it."

Linda sighed and got out of bed. "You're right Bobby."

She leaned over and kissed his forehead. He lay back down and she went to Louise's room.

"Hi Louise. Is your diaper full?" Linda picked up the screaming Louise and felt her bum. "Nope you're good. Are you hungry?"

Linda unbuttoned the front of her nightgown and pulled out her breast.

Louise stopped crying, but she still refused to eat.

"Oh come on Louise! I know you're hungry and until you can swallow whole food, you're stuck with this."

Louise kept turning her head away from Linda every time her breast got too close.

Finally Linda gave up. "Fine!"

Louise started crying again as Linda put Louise down and stomped back to her room to get out the breast pump. She huffed and puffed while she was using it, waking up Bob.

"She wouldn't eat?" Bob asked, drowsily.

"No. She wouldn't." Linda said angrily.

"It doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

"Yeah but it means she prefers you."

"And you think Gene loves us equally?"

"Wha...?" Linda looked at her husband, confused. "Gene loves you!"

"Yeah. But he loves you more. Nothing wrong with that. We're just not similar enough, and that's fine." Bob shrugged.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"A little. But I've gotten used to it. I have Louise now, and that makes me feel pretty good. And she still loves you, just like Gene loves me."

"Yeah I guess... Wait does Tina have a favourite?"

"No Tina just follows whoever is moving."

Linda chuckled a little.

She filled a bottle and gave it to Bob.

"Go feed her Bobby."

"Sure Lin."

He went off to feed her and when he came back, he saw Gene snuggling his mommy.

"Louise woke him up." Linda whispered.

Bob quietly chuckled and got into bed, putting his arm around Gene.


	10. Chapter 10

Bob and Linda were lying in bed. Linda was reading and Bob was just staring at the ceiling, thinking.

"Lin, I've been thinking..."

"Never a good sign." She laughed at her own joke.

Bob chuckled. "Well, I've been thinking... I love our kids. They're great kids. But uh... They're so perfect... I can't imagine having any other. So I think I should get a vasectomy"

"Wh-what? Bobby that's a little drastic... We can just use condoms, and I can go on birth control"

"But Lin, what if there's an accident? We can't afford another kid."

"B-but what if we want another kid?"

"Linda we can't have another one. We just can't. It's better to get this surgery and never have to worry about it."

Linda started to cry.

"Lin no..." He put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't cry... Look, the procedure is reversible, so if someday, we somehow get enough money to afford another kid, we can have another one. It's not like you're getting your tubes tied."

"O-ok..." Linda said quietly, swallowing her tears.

"So I'll get it...?"

"Y-yeah..."

~a few months later~

It was the day after the surgery. Bob had recovered well and they had just finished up closing the restaurant for the day. Tina and Gene were colouring in one of the booths, and Louise was scribbling on paper with crayons while sitting in her high chair, so as to stay out of the way.

Linda was putting away the mop. She was very sullen and quiet, unusual for her. She had been like this the whole week leading up to the surgery.

"So you know how Teddy drove me home so that you could be with the kids yesterday?" Bob asked Linda.

"Yeah..." She sighed.

"Well... I asked him to stop at the porcelain store afterwards..."

"What were you doing at the porcelain store?"

"Well I know how sad you've been recently... You want more kids and I get that... Well... Since we can't get any real ones, I picked up this..." Bob pulled out a small porcelain baby from a drawer in the kitchen. "For you"

Linda's face lit up.

"I know it's kind of ugly... But it was the cheapest one there so..." Bob smiled a little.

"Oh Bobby..." She took it from him, and looked at it up close. "It's so sweet and cute! I just wanna eat him up!" She gave it kisses on its tiny face.

Bob chuckled.

"Bobby where did you get him?"

"Uhhh... It was at the porcelain store, Great Mall of China."

"Hmm. I'll have to go there... I think this little guy needs siblings!"

Bob rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Oh God..."


End file.
